Is Refusing to Forgive a Sin? What Islam Really Says About It

We've always been told to be the bigger person and forgive and forget. When we were kids, we learned that harboring no grudges was the key to peace of mind and spiritual growth. But what if the hurt runs too deep? When a person has done something so painful that time won't mend the wounds, are we sinning when we won't forgive? Islam, through the Quranic teachings, provides insight into the virtue of forgiveness with due consideration to the complexity of human emotions.


The Quran always calls for forgiveness of others, reminding us that compassion and kindness are Divine attributes. In Surah Al-Hijr (15:85), Allah reminds us that the Day of Judgment is certain and that therefore we need to show bountiful forgiveness. This means forgiveness is an honorable virtue in Islam—a virtue that aligns us with the mercy of our Creator.

But forgiveness is not always compulsory. The Quran acknowledges the hurt caused by others and allows justice. Surah Ash-Shura (42:40) states, "The recompense of an injury is an injury equal to it. But if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah." This verse displays a balance: one has a right to seek justice, but forgiveness has enormous spiritual rewards.


Forgiveness is a wonderful deed, but refusing to forgive could not necessarily be called a sin. Islam doesn't force humans to forgive absolutely everything for free, especially if the harm was awful or constant. The faith does admit that it is not easy to cure some injuries and that one ought to forgive but not out of obligation for true sincerity's sake.

Exceptions do exist when justice is pursued, particularly if one has been unfairly treated. Surah Al-Baqarah (2:178) mentions the concept of Qisas (retributive justice) in which victims are permitted to seek justice but simultaneously encourages reconciliation wherever possible. This serves to corroborate that forgiveness is commendable but not always mandatory.

At the same time, the Quran instils us with the understanding that letting go of grudges brings more peace within and celestial reward. People of faith are exhorted by the verse in Surah An-Nur (24:22) to forgive others with the inquiry, "Do you not love that Allah should forgive you?" This verse reminds us that by forgiving others, we are opening Allah's mercy to our own lives.


Although Islam does not prescribe forgiveness as an obligatory act, it always speaks of its merit. Forgiveness of others is not only a benevolence to them but also a reason for our own spiritual elevation. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) embodied this in his life. Although he had to suffer atrocious persecution, he forgave most of his opponents, proving that forgiveness is an excellence, not a vice. But he also stood up for justice when the situation arose, demonstrating that forgiveness and attempts at being fair are equally their place in Islam as well.
Forgiveness in Islam is accepted but not obligatory. Not forgiving does not always amount to sinning each time. Islam is aware that hurt is really felt and some grievances take healing, time, or even justice to pass before it is truly possible to release. It may harden the heart by nursing a grudge for a very long time, but working for justice and leaving oneself some space to heal is not something detested.
Ultimately, forgiveness is an exercise of the heart—one that, if embarked on, leads to peace and blessings from above. But when refused, it should never be a cause of guilt and sin, especially when the hurt is deep. Islam allows for leeway in both justice and compassion, so believers can navigate their sentiments with wisdom and faith.