Are You Marrying the Wrong Person Because of a Kundli?

Akanksha Tiwari

Aug 04, 2025, 10:25 IST

In India, Kundli matching is treated as the ultimate compatibility test before marriage. But is it really foolproof or even relevant today? This article questions whether blind faith in astrological charts might be leading people away from truly compatible partners, and explores what modern relationships actually need to thrive.

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In India, Kundli matching isn't just a tradition, it's often the final word in whether two people tie the knot. But is your future really written in the stars, or are we letting charts and doshas override emotional compatibility and mutual respect?

1. What Is Kundli Matching?

Kundli

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Kundli, or horoscope, is a birth chart based on the time, date, and place of birth. In arranged marriages, families match the bride and groom’s Kundlis to check for compatibility across categories like health, finance, career, family life, and even chances of divorce or early death. The most common method used is Ashta-Koota Milan, which scores compatibility out of 36 points.

2. The Problem: Love Isn’t Math

Love Isn’t Math

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Can human emotion and partnership be reduced to 36 points? While Kundli matching has been around for centuries, it assumes that our lives are fixed by cosmic alignment. But modern science and psychology say otherwise—relationships depend more on emotional maturity, communication, and shared values than on planetary positions.

3. Real-Life Mismatches Despite 'Perfect' Kundlis

Wedding

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There are countless cases where couples with high Kundli scores end up separating or unhappy in their marriage. On the other hand, many couples with “incompatible” charts go on to live fulfilling lives together. Why? Because love, respect, and effort cannot be predicted by a piece of paper.

4. Astrology or Accountability?

When things go wrong in a marriage, blaming it on an 'unmatched Kundli' is easy. But that often masks deeper issues—lack of compatibility, communication, or personal growth. By focusing only on charts, families often ignore red flags like controlling behaviour, disrespect, or incompatibility in goals.

5. A Changing India: Gen Z Is Asking Questions

love

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Urban Indian youth are increasingly rejecting rigid Kundli-based decisions. Many now view it as one part of the puzzle—if at all. Love marriages, intercaste unions, and even LGBTQ+ relationships are pushing the boundaries of traditional systems, proving that emotional compatibility matters more than Guna Milan.

6. What Experts Say

Modern psychologists and marriage counselors agree: long-lasting relationships are based on shared vision, emotional intelligence, and conflict resolution skills not astrological compatibility. Some astrologers themselves now recommend using Kundli only as a supplementary tool, not the deciding factor.

Should You Trust the Stars or Your Heart?

While respecting tradition is important, blindly following Kundli matching can lead to regrettable choices. Before you say yes or no to a life partner based on a horoscope, ask: Do I feel safe, heard, and valued by this person? That answer may be more accurate than any star chart.

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Are You Marrying the Wrong Person Because of a Kundli?

Akanksha Tiwari

1. What Is Kundli Matching?

2. The Problem: Love Isn’t Math

3. Real-Life Mismatches Despite 'Perfect' Kundlis

4. Astrology or Accountability?

5. A Changing India: Gen Z Is Asking Questions

6. What Experts Say

Should You Trust the Stars or Your Heart?

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