How Your Obsession With Film Romance Is Killing Your Real One, Explore Here

We’ve all been there—watching a movie and feeling that flutter in the chest when the hero walks in slow motion or when the heroine turns with the wind in her hair and violins playing in the background. For a moment, or many moments, we begin to believe: This is what love should look like.
But here’s the inconvenient truth: our obsession with reel-life romances may be silently suffocating our real-life relationships.
In a world dominated by screens and curated content, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparing our mundane moments with the perfectly orchestrated drama of fictional lives. From Bollywood to Netflix to Instagram reels, the "perfect partner" is sold like a designer product. They’re brooding yet kind, alpha yet sensitive, broken but only in a romantic way—and they always say the right thing, at the right time, with background music.
Real people? Not so much.
And yet, we internalise these characters. Slowly, they become our reference point for how love should feel, look, and behave. And when our partners don’t match those idealistic avatars, dissatisfaction starts creeping in.
Let’s talk honestly about something a lot of us go through.
When we fall in love with fictional characters—whether from movies, books, or shows—we often start to idealize them. Without realising it, we project those same expectations onto our real-life partners. The problem? Real people aren’t scripted. They’re complex, flawed, and human. So when our partner doesn’t live up to that fantasy, we feel disappointed—not because they’ve changed, but because they never were that fantasy to begin with.
There’s actually research backing this up. According to studies published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who consume a lot of romantic media often feel less satisfied in their real relationships. Why? Their expectations become shaped by fiction—and reality can’t compete.
It also comes down to brain chemistry. Fiction gives us a quick hit of dopamine—the feel-good chemical. Real relationships? They run on oxytocin, the bonding hormone. That means they’re built slowly, through trust, conflict, growth, and even boredom sometimes. It’s less about butterflies, more about deep connection.
In short: fantasy can be fun, even inspiring. But when it starts to set the standard for our real lives, it’s time to step back and re-center on what real love looks like.
When you start seeing your partner not for who they are, but for who they aren't (read: not Ranbir, not Alia, not Ryan Gosling, not Deepika), you stop appreciating them. You start nitpicking. You question the absence of grand romantic gestures. You crave drama, even subconsciously.
And this damages the most vital part of any relationship: emotional presence.
You’re not with your partner anymore—you’re with a mental image of someone else, somewhere else, in a story that doesn’t exist.
It’s a Quiet Influence, But It’s Definitely There
You might not even notice it, but the way we see love and relationships is shaped a lot by what we watch and scroll through.
You find yourself questioning your relationship if it doesn’t look “picture-perfect” on Instagram.
You’re drawn to emotionally unavailable people because they seem mysterious—like the characters you love in movies or books.
You resist doing the emotional work in relationships because we’re taught that love should just happen—easy, magical, meant to be.
Even how we think about breakups is shaped by stories. One fight, one betrayal, a sad piano song—and boom, it’s over. But real life doesn’t work like that. Real heartbreak is messy. And sometimes, we miss the chance to heal and grow just because we’re expecting a neat, cinematic ending instead of the complicated, repairable kind that real life offers.
One of the most powerful things we can do is become more conscious of what we consume—especially when it comes to love stories in movies. Films are beautiful works of art, meant to inspire and entertain, but they’re not instruction manuals for how to live or love. Enjoy them, let them move you, but don’t let them define your expectations of real relationships.
In your relationships, talk to the person in front of you—not the idea of them you’ve built in your head. Try to see your partner for who they truly are. Notice the little quirks, the pauses in conversation that still feel comfortable, the effort they make even when it’s hard. Real intimacy comes from seeing someone clearly and choosing them anyway.
Remember that real love isn’t scripted. It doesn't come with grand gestures set to background music or perfectly timed dialogue. It’s in the small, consistent moments—the cup of coffee when you’re exhausted, the argument that didn’t break you but brought you closer, the private jokes that wouldn’t make sense to anyone else.
Most of all, embrace imperfection. Love in real life is messy. It’s raw, vulnerable, sometimes even a little ugly. But that’s what makes it real. And often, it’s in those imperfect moments that we find the deepest, most enduring kind of connection.
Let’s bring back the beauty of awkward first dates, of tired eyes and honest “I’m sorry”s. Let’s champion real over reel, substance over spectacle, effort over expectation.
Because your partner is not competing with a fictional character—and they shouldn’t have to.
Let’s stop asking: Why doesn’t my love story look like that movie?
And start asking: How can I write a better love story in my real life?

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