Why Do You Keep Pleasing Those Who Don’t See You? The Gita’s Harsh Light

Shruti | Fri, 04 Jul 2025
You bend, you stretch, you shrink. All in the name of being loved by people who barely notice the effort. But what if you’ve been trying to earn love from the wrong people all along? The Bhagavad Gita, with its piercing wisdom, offers a wake-up call that hurts—but also heals. This article dives into the deep emotional hunger for validation and approval through the eyes of Krishna, and asks the hardest question: Why do you keep offering your soul to those who don’t even see it?
Bhagvad Gita
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We live in a world where being liked often matters more than being real. We smile when we’re hurting, agree when we want to say no, and shrink ourselves just to fit in. But beneath the performance lies a quiet ache—to be seen, heard, and accepted as we are. Through the timeless wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita, this article explores what it truly means to stop performing and start living from a place of truth, even if that truth makes others uncomfortable.

1. The Ache to Be Seen

The Ache to Be Seen
The Ache to Be Seen
( Image credit : Freepik )
Have you ever smiled while breaking inside? Agreed when you wanted to scream “no”? We often sacrifice our truth just to be liked—by friends, by family, by lovers who don't understand us. This quiet desperation for approval turns into a silent performance. Every day, we show up not as who we are, but as who we think they’ll accept. And when they still don’t—when they scroll past our pain, ignore our kindness, or treat us as background noise—we tell ourselves we just need to try harder. But deep inside, it stings. Not because they didn’t see you. But because you ignored yourself in the process.

2. Krishna’s Uncomfortable Truth

Krishna
Krishna
In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna doesn’t offer sugar-coated comfort. He offers truth that shakes you awake. When Arjuna is crippled by doubt, unsure of how others will see his actions, Krishna responds not with sympathy—but with sharp clarity:

“Dedicate all actions to Me, free from desire and ego, and with no expectations—fight without mental fever.” (Gita 3.30)

That “mental fever” Krishna talks about? It’s the exhausting overthinking, the endless need to be liked, to please, to avoid conflict, to never disappoint. Krishna says: Stop. Fight—not for approval, not for applause, but for what’s true and aligned with your soul. He teaches us that our worth doesn’t depend on who claps for us. It depends on how we show up in truth—even if no one is watching.

3. Who Are You When You Stop Pleasing?

It’s terrifying to disappoint people who expect you to keep playing small. But it’s far worse to disappoint yourself. When you start pulling back from people-pleasing, guilt shows up. The fear of being called “selfish,” “difficult,” or “changed.” But beneath that fear is a quiet joy—a growing peace. You no longer feel the need to explain yourself, to fix every misunderstanding, or prove your goodness. That is liberation. That is what Krishna means when he says in Gita 2.47:

“You have a right to your actions—not to their fruits.”

You do what is right, not what is popular. You speak your truth, even if it trembles. You start living from within—not in reaction to those who don’t even know who you truly are. The more you act in alignment with your dharma, the more your inner self begins to glow.

4. The Freedom of Not Being Seen

The Freedom of Not Being
The Freedom of Not Being Seen
( Image credit : Freepik )
There is a strange freedom in no longer needing to be understood. Once you realize that not everyone is meant to see your soul, you stop putting it on display for validation. The people who were blind to you may never see you—not because you’re unworthy, but because they’re not capable. The Gita doesn’t ask us to stop loving. It asks us to stop begging for love. To stop offering ourselves to those who lack the eyes to recognize light. When you love yourself as Krishna asks—with detachment, devotion, and clarity—you stop needing the world to confirm your worth. You are no longer lost in someone else’s perception. You’re rooted in your own truth.

5. Love Without Losing Yourself

The deepest message of the Gita isn’t to detach from others. It’s to stay attached to your Self. Your soul, your dharma, your peace. Love others, yes. Serve, yes. But not at the cost of self-erasure. Not when it turns into quiet self-betrayal. You were never meant to be everyone’s favorite. You were meant to be free. Krishna’s words call you back to yourself—not the version of you others want, but the you who is real, radiant, and whole. When you see your own worth clearly, you stop chasing those who don't.

So next time you feel unseen, ask: Is it really me they don’t see—or have I stopped seeing myself? The Gita’s light may be harsh—but it’s also the light that guides you home.

You Don’t Need Applause—You Need Alignment

In a world obsessed with approval, choosing to live in alignment with your truth is a quiet rebellion—and a sacred one. The Bhagavad Gita doesn’t promise comfort; it offers clarity. It reminds us that being seen starts with seeing ourselves. That love, peace, and purpose aren’t found in applause, but in presence. So if you’ve ever felt invisible, take heart: you don’t need to be everything for everyone. You just need to be real—with yourself. That’s where your power lives.

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Tags:
  • people pleasing meaning
  • bhagavad gita on self-worth
  • stop seeking validation
  • emotional exhaustion
  • spiritual awakening gita
  • how to stop pleasing others
  • krishna's advice on ego
  • self realization bhagavad gita
  • letting go of people
  • approval addiction

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